loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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