WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize