I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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