so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
