i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
MIDGETS
????
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
