Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You're like the curious george of whores
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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