there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
