Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
