I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
