i just wanna soil my oats bro
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Randomize
