I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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