we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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