I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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