I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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