After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
