I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
