Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
