what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize