so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
