you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
