I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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