the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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