Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
