never play flip cup with pint glasses
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
