Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
