no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
