So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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