I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
