im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
