Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I look better un-naked...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
