Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
