is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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