Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
