Will you blow on my dice?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
