I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
