all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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