My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
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It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
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Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?