she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
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He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
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Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.