My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
either way he was missing a nipple.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
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Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no