Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
