his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
you had me at cake vodka
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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