You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
