she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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