My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
