He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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