blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
