ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
