if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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