It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize