Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
