Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize