just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.