the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from