Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
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i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
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I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"