There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check