so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...