Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
