I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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