I think I won the penis lottery.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
