you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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