Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize