My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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