You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
