This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
