I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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